People considering divorce often focus on the unhealthy dynamic that they have with their spouses. They may not consider their broader family when making the decision whether or not to file.
However, divorce proceedings can have a ripple effect on numerous different family relationships. Spouses generally need to prepare themselves for changes in their closest relationships, as well as challenging family dynamics during and after a divorce.
What changes are common in family dynamics when people divorce?
Parents with young children
Young children and teenagers often have a difficult time adjusting to the idea of divorce. They may lash out at one or both parents. They may withdraw from preferred activities and social relationships. They may refuse to stay with one parent or may be hostile toward that parent because they blame them for the divorce. In many cases, parents have to prepare themselves for months or years of rebuilding because divorce damages how the children perceive themselves, their family and their parents. In blended family situations, stepparents may become estranged from the stepchildren they love.
Older parents filing gray divorces
Gray divorce between people in their 50s or later has become increasingly common in recent years. Spouses preparing for gray divorce often assume that their family dynamics may remain the same. However, their risk of estrangement from their adult children and grandchildren may actually be higher in these scenarios than in divorces where children are younger. The courts cannot force adult children or grandchildren to spend time with either spouse. Particularly in situations where family members take the side of one spouse against the other, long-term changes to family dynamics are common.
In-laws and extended family units
Relationships with children aren’t the only relationships that change when spouses divorce. Even those without children may notice a distinct shift in family dynamics. Typically, in-laws tend to close ranks around their family members during divorce. People who have long enjoyed positive relationships with their spouses’ immediate family can expect those relationships to end or change dramatically.
Occasionally, the opposite occurs. Families that have bonded with a family member’s spouse may take the side of the non-familial spouse when there is clear fault for the divorce. People may end up alienated from their own siblings or parents because of what happens during divorce and may face a lengthy rebuilding process as they try to improve their family dynamics.
Individual and family therapy sessions can be beneficial for those concerned about the social consequences of divorce. Support groups and even books exploring the lasting impact of divorce on family dynamics can be helpful.
People who want to limit the social and emotional fallout of an upcoming divorce often need to embrace special tactics, such as keeping things amicable by pursuing an uncontested divorce. Discussing family dynamics and personal concerns with a skilled legal team can help people prepare for divorce and mitigate the familial fallout of the end of a marriage.